Basics

I'm over 60 and I've decided to change some of my life skills. I believe that everyone can change . I've been studying and have come to realizations about skills that I want to work on . Not all the same level of change. Most not at all are operating at a positive not optimum level . Confidence , empathy and effectiveness are areas I need little work in , communication is my weakest spot . By communication I mean the ability to interpret clearly what is being said and the correct action to effectively communicate on that level . I know that you can teach an old dog new tricks to phrase a metaphor .

Ouch ,I'll not hide pridefully or even deny some pain when a subtle hostile attack is leveled at me . Also part of the basic communication technique . The ping didn't last long . It is wise not to react and retaliate . ;) ;)

CIAK Said: You are right prigz. I find it fascinating as mentioned earlier by changing how Im listening . That is how Im filtering the conversation. I have heard the exact same conversation through a couple of my filters . The messages changes as I attempt to learn to listen . As an example . My sister who is way out there in some of her beliefs called me late last night to tell me Im going out to Arizona to try and communicate with UFOs http://www.niagara-gazette.com/local/local_story_293002837.html and she is serious . Ive pretty much written here off as a kook over the years . I heard her through a different filter last night because Im trying to hone my communication skills .The message was still loony IMO however the way I received it was different . It was pleasant . Instead of writing her off we left it on a good note . I told her to bring a camera and if she got some good shots of a UFO send them to me. Gaining trust comes with knowing what trust is . One of the filters I mentioned. Wisdom is needed here . Am I talking to myself i dunno weirder things have happened. I dont mind answering myself either if the answer is good . B) ;) ;) B)

You should listen to her and use a little introspection I think. There is more in common with you both than you realise. If she wants a hook up with aliens, she should head accross the pond.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/ufo/6394256/UFO-alert-police-officer-sees-aliens-at-crop-circle.html

You are right prigz. I find it fascinating as mentioned earlier by changing how I'm listening . That is how I'm filtering the conversation. I have heard the exact same conversation through a couple of my filters . The messages changes as I attempt to learn to listen . As an example . My sister who is way out there in some of her beliefs called me late last night to tell me " I'm going out to Arizona to try and communicate with UFO's http://www.niagara-gazette.com/local/local_story_293002837.html " and she is serious . I've pretty much written here off as a kook over the years . I heard her through a different filter last night because I'm trying to hone my communication skills .The message was still loony IMO however the way I received it was different . It was pleasant . Instead of writing her off we left it on a good note . I told her to bring a camera and if she got some good shots of a UFO send them to me. Gaining trust comes with knowing what trust is . One of the filters I mentioned. Wisdom is needed here . Am I talking to myself " i dunno " weirder things have happened. I don't mind answering myself either if the answer is good . B) ;) ;) B)

Well, probably the first thing about communication, is that you and your co-communicator had better be on the same wavelength. Unfortunately, many people mistake the volume button for the channel button. If you're not receiving, they are gonna yell louder. and louder. and louder. and still make no sense.

It's been said by Stephen Covey, that in order to be understood, you first have to understand. We generally don't take the time to understand the person we're "communicating" with. End result, talking at the person, not to the person. Nothing wrong with their ears, but until the rapport is established, until you have gained their trust, until your "co-communicator" is prepared to hear your message, you're just talking to yourself.

Oh, sorry. I'm talking to myself again... :blush:

Hee Hee Good one Terry!!! But i try not to do anything that the end result would be me hanging from a tree!!! :dry:

So I guess you have a problem hanging from a rope in a tree? You could get it swinging to get to the middle where there is no overhanging branches.

You can be the best communicator in the world but if your talking to an idiot it makes no difference if you also were an idiot. lol I found this out "again" a couple times last week with homeowners. One guy picked my brain for an hour asking me every possible imaginable question about his simple roof problem. I answered them all accurately and quickly, explaining in full detail exactly what he was asking. With him often repeating the same questions or some similar variety of the question several times. After all of that i wrote the contract out to do exactly what we discussed. He READ it and signed it. I performed the work and knocked on the door for the check afterwards. He was kind of stunned that i did it fairly quick and began to tell me how he thought i was going to something different, blah blah blah, and refused to pay me for the work. lol I had to take his arse back up on the roof AGAIN, and show, and explain. ONCE AGAIN everything that i had done. He finally paid up. The other idiot caused me to have to drive 30 minutes out of my way to give him a FREE estimate and then he wouldn't even let me get on his roof. Said he wanted someone who could do it from a ladder. I was like very good luck to you my friend, the only way anyone can fix your steep slope 2 and 3 story roof without getting on it would be by hanging from a helicopter. Its in the back yard and surrounded by trees except at the very top/middle of the house, so i doubt a boom truck or some type of lift would even work. lol